Dear Lasha (my letter from 2014)

Dear Lasha,

I have always started the year off, with a list of the things I want to do, see, and complete, which has had us entering a year filled with effort, stress, and expectations. This fall, I have come to notice the more effort I try to do things, the more conflict, stress, and chaos arises. This has left me feeling tired exhausted and wondering and questioning the direction of my path.  I am trying to surrender, and see another way, so this letter is dedicated to you, to acknowledge everything you have achieved and to see it’s not what we do, its how we were enjoying ourselves thorough the process.

We started the year with great success of a SuccessfulBreakThrough and FreeFall retreat, we have continually been trying to accumulate our class numbers for FreeFall classes and for the first time we had a full class, with almost even number of men to women. This class, I had a feeling of pride knowing we were able to run a full class, and start to establish a FreeFall community within Regina. Through the year we ran a variety of study groups that were supported with willing people, eager and courageous, to explore the work. This is something I feel is a passion that nurtures my purpose, as each class that we teach is one that allows me to share this work, see myself, and build relationships like no others.

As we entered into spring, we found ourselves learning how to let go, and surrender, as Tyla who is an amazing asset to my team, within Regina was entering a new phase of life, Motherhood! I am so excited for her to enter this new path in life, at the same time allowed me to see when you allow change, and let go, how an easy and natural transition can happen. As Tyla stepped down, Ashley stepped in. Classes and events ran continuous without a hiccup! Through this process I became aware of that a healthy and strong BodyTalk community has blossomed within Regina. This was another time I found feeling gratitude for all the work, and effort we had contributed within the area.

As Ashley and I nurtured our relationship, I found us entering into high drive. Since having Remmie I took a lot of time to be at home, enjoying being Mom, and nurturing the family. I found myself longing for some personal career time. As we entered into high drive we completed many things and actually takes me back with a little surprise. As l reflect on our relationship I see how quick we were able to trust, communicate the truth, be real, just me myself.  Our relationship is so valuable to me as she supports my ideas, sees me follow through and provides me opportunities to push myself out of comfort zones with things I wouldn’t usally try. The thing I love the most is, I can truly be me, she has seen me through my highs and lows and I didn’t ever try to hide how I was ever feeling. This was refreshing for me to see the willingness and ease to let someone new in, ask for help where needed and receive such a support system for me on all areas of life.

List of everything we accomplished:

Monthly Newsletters

Facebook page: which I was so hesitant and didn’t realize how closed off I was until I opened up to let people see and follow my life!

Monthly Women's Connection groups: this was a whole new approach to a public presenation. This was a huge success we average 30 people each month, and provided me an opportunity to talk and explore a variety of topics. From this I learned and experienced the power of femininity, and how working with a groups of 30 women is  truly inspiring.

Restructured our Business: new business name that I like and feels it fits me, yet at times I see how I hide and shy away from the essence of by business. Ashley, as my assistant, I have kept up on my books, had gst filed on time each quarter! New vision and Mission statement exploring the Why within life and career.

Forum: I used to be so afraid of the forum, I didn’t want to post afraid of being wrong, looking silly, thinking my ideas weren’t very good ect. As I started to become active on the forum there seemed to be a whole new me come out. I loved it, I would sit and giggle and feel excitement as I posted, and shared my ideas!  I really enjoyed the time we spent on the forum. This is something I would like us to continue as I feel really good when I am on it.

Writing articles: this is another thing I have shied away from, yet had a deep longing to do, with the support from the forum I once again found a new aspect of me coming out in spite of myself. I started writing articles, submitting them in without even thinking about what anyone else would think. I look back at this time, and I wonder who was that, is that really me? Lol

Classes:  I was able to teach in a few new cities this year, which was fun. I loved being able to fly from Brandon which saved me time and money, and allowed these trips to be fun, quick and supported all aspect of my life. Family work, and friends!

Contributing to the IBA: I really wanted to build a relationship with the IBA staff, once again this was something I always wanted but once again was shy, or avoided people getting to know me. Once again in spite of myself I found myself e-mailing offering my skills, providing articles ect. and before I knew it, I was feeling comfortable to share my ideas, take action on them, and once again wondering who is this!

Blog: the one thing I have is a resistance to show and express myself, this blog is dedicated as a space for me to just be me, share my life’s ups and downs, and really just be a space for release. This is going to be a great exercise of vulnerability and communication.

As I read this, I see we have really come out of the shell of shyness, and moving through this fear of rejection, and letting go of old baggage of self- rejection, and criticism.

Conflicts:

As I reflect on the areas of conflicts within my life, I can see how much strength my voice has gained. I am now feeling confident with things I feel, think, I am standing up for myself when I feel needed. Communication is a theme for the next while, as I am in the stage of Throat Chakra! With this awareness  I am wanting to continue this skill that nurtures us along the way.

I have been trying to sell my building through our whole maternity leave, and this building is still sitting there with a for sale sign on it. I told you if that building didn’t sell by the end of November then I am opening a practice again. Instead of anyone who looked at it putting in an offer, I have now started working out of there again. Perhaps my offer of giving back to you. I am seeing how I feel guilty for owning it, I feel I don’t deserve to have the building and a family, a job I love ect... I am seeing my low self-esteem and how much effort and energy I have been using trying to deny myself the opportunity to have space of my own where I can work, play, and hang out all day.  As I surrendered to the idea of keeping the building, I now have a nanny coming to the house to look after the kids, clean the house, and support and lighten the TO Do’s I have of being a MOM!

I am really seeing how when you finally surrender the beauty and ease that follows. So much easier said then done, but I am willing to change that to being that easy!

Within my personal life, I have been pushed once again to voice my needs, and ask for help. This is something I have coped with and still coping, but the layers are falling off in spite of me again. Needing to ask for help and opening up to receive the help has brought a new level of vulnerability within the family. Bringing me closer and more honest with Trevor and kids. Letting go of little miss independent, I can do it all on my own, is crumbling and at the same time humbling.

Within our personal life we also did things we have been putting off for years, we finally got our wills completed! Updated our life insurance policies, which were things we always talked about but never did. Thinking our hand written letters were sufficient hehe. We finished our fence, and are finally discussing future projects that support everyone vs me doing what I want to do, and Trevor doing what he wants to do, we are coming together as what do we want to do! This has a whole new feeling and approach on life.

Who knew where it would lead and what you can actually do, when little miss independent crumbles!

Within the year, I also wanted to take time for Fun with Friends, and this I did a couple of times at least every couple of months. The fun days filled me up, and are something I would like us to do at least once a month to support and nurture my personal life from my professional life.

As we entered November the darkness of winter hit early, having us challenged with health, of asking myself the 5 W’s; who, what, when, where and why. I can see this past month has made me say NO, set boundaries, stand my ground, and define a foundation of how I am going to continue moving through this journey called life. As we start to see the light, I can get a glimpse of the things that need to change, the direction we need to go. I feel my heart race a little with fear, but in spite of it all I need to surrender and see what may come.

So to conclude my year, I am going to stop thinking of what I need to do, I am not going to book my schedule myself, allow myself time to listen inside to the direction for me and the opportunities to present themselves.

Let’s enjoy this pace and give ourselves some grace!

Infused with Love,

Lasha

Letter To You

Dear Santa, Family and Friends...

These are the letters we write for others, but what about a letter to You?

As we enter the season of winter, which is a time for introspection and reflection, this time of year can be filled with stress, and business that keeps us distracted by time. As the month comes to an end, the concept of time will stimulate guilt of the things we feel we didn’t achieve and stimulate the fear for the new year to set goals of all things we think we need to achieve, become, and do.  This is continually feeding the separation and longing for love and acceptance, which we are all aware, is an inside job.

I welcome you to join me on an exercise to write a letter to yourself, exploring your year. Highlight all of the things you have accomplished, the lessons you have learned, the challenges you have overcome, the things you are proud of and what had you feeling creative and inspired. During this process, I found myself amazed of how much I did do, as I followed myself through out the entire year. As I highlighted some of the conflicts, I was able to observe and simplify the awareness and the skills I am still nurturing. I noticed my list was dominated with aspects of career, and found awareness in area’s I would like to take more time to nurture through the holidays and year to come.

As I try to stop feeding the guilt of the things not checked off my “To Do List”, and prevent feeding the fear of the New Year and I am not making a list of all my “To DO’s” for 2015. I am trying a new approach, allowing life to unfold opportunities vs trying to create and make opportunities! This has me settling in with a feeling of ease and calmness entering this Holiday season.

Wishing Everyone a Holiday Season filled with much love, laughter and rejuvenation!

Exercise:

Take some time to honour yourself, find a quiet place with a journal, pen and paper, or set up a comfortable environment with your computer. Allow yourself to reflect on your year, as we know each year is filled with it’s up’s and down’s . The low points are what I like to call our growth spurts, the times through the year where we often gain new awareness. The high times we come out to share our wisdom and celebrate and rejuvenate.

As you journal the year, allow this to be an opportunity to synthesise your new awareness’s and, see all the things you have accomplished. Allowing this to be an opportunity to start the year with a new perspective of self awareness of your personal growth.

Introduction

Dear Readers,

Have you ever had a thought you weren't proud of, do you have a secret you wish you could just let out, are there things in your life that you wish you had someone you could trust to share with?

If you said yes ; then you understand the feeling I am experiencing and this is why I am starting a Blog, to be an avenue to let go of the fog that is bogging me down. Give life to the stories locked inside, allowing me an opportunity to breath, and express me.

Look forward to what this Blog will bring!

Infused with Love,

Lasha